What You Can't Have
by salzstar
Summary: Max re-analyses the way she feels about Alec, after a new female transgenic in TC becomes interested in him. M/A Post FN.
1. New Acquaintances

**Story Title : **What You Can't Have

**Chapter Title : **New Acquaintances 

**Disclaimer : **All DA characters belong to Cameron/Eglee and Fox. Katie belongs to me.

**Summary : **Logan and Max are meant to be together, right? Well then why does a new girl on Alec's scene get Max all worked up? M/A Post FN.  
**A/N : **My first DA fic. Thanks to all my fellow nuns at NWP, my inspiration for writing this story. I'm totally amazed at all the great DA fics that can be found online, and this is my contribution to the pile heh. No idea as to how long it's going to be, that'll be determined from the responses I get.

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**(_Present time, Inside the Apartment)_**

"Ah ah ah – _choo!_" Max sneezed, sending a billowing cloud of dust into the air. _Damn. Who would've thought housecleaning could be so… dirty. Hell, who am I kidding! …me? … Housecleaning?_ It'd been only a week after the hostage situation at Jam Pony, and so far the siege outside TC showed no signs of letting up. Sector Police crawled the entire perimeter, making it hard for them to go on supply runs.

Logan was now a temporary resident of TC; regular blood transfusions from Joshua making it possible for him to live amidst the biotoxins and chemical poison. Max had tried to make him leave, to go back to Joshua's old place, but he had blatantly refused.

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**_(That morning, Max's Office, HQ)_******

"Logan, you have to go. You can't stay here," Max pleaded. "You're an…an _ordinary_ and it's dangerous _- _"

"What? You don't think I can take care of myself?" Logan's tone softened. "I talked to Joshua, and he's agreed to give me his blood twice a week. I figured that since all transgenics have natural immunity… Max, I only want to be there for you."

Max frowned, a worried look marring her pretty face. She couldn't afford to put Logan in any more danger as it was, with their virus still active. Meanwhile, the 'freaks' of TC didn't appreciate Logan's presence either, it seemed. As much as she thought she needed him with her, there would be no point if he were dead.

"Logan, _please_."

"Max, Eyes Only can operate right here in HQ! Spreading a good word for the freaks and all…" Logan began to rant about all the benefits of having EO operating right inside TC. Max, much to her dismay, began slowly zoning out on him, until all she could hear was a dull droning sound. 

After that fateful day a week ago, when she had delivered her rallying speech to the transgenics, she had been running around like a headless chicken, putting together supply lists, working out accommodation, briefing those she had chosen to go _get_ the supplies… the list went on. 

_Thank god for Alec,_ she thought. If it hadn't been for him, she would've lost it by now. Gone crazy, wacko. Gone past the point of no return. That _asshole,_ she thought, somewhat affectionately, had helped her out when he could, doing her share of duties as well as his own when she was so run down she thought she'd collapse. Yeah, she owed him alright.

"Max? Max?!" Logan began to whine, but abruptly stopped himself. "Max, come on. A month's trial. If there are any major problems during that time, I promise I'll leave."

"Major problems. How bout a heart attack." Mole muttered, stalking past Max's open office door.

"Okay. One month. Dix!" Max called, preoccupied. "Find Logan accommodation okay? I gotta blaze. Anyone seen Alec?"

Carefully avoiding any eye contact, as well as physical, she stepped out from behind her desk and made her way out of HQ.

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**(_Present, Inside the Apartment)_**

"Ah CHOO!" Dammit, all this dust was starting to put Max off fixing up her own apartment. _An apartment_, she thought irritatingly, _that I have to share with Mr Asshole himself._ How it happened, she had no idea. Something about the apartment being big enough for four, and that the two leaders of TC should stay together. 

_Alec? A leader?_ Max almost laughed out loud, but a thought stifled her. _He is pretty good with the 'freaks'. Hell, who am I kidding, he's so popular that I'm surprised his ego hasn't burst yet._ She stood up and attempted to make her way to the kitchen area, but misjudged the distance she needed to leap over a pile of old cardboard boxes. She landed flat on her face, all traces of feline grace out the window, with was also accompanied by another massive cloud of dust.

"Need any help there, Maxie?" came a voice from the open doorway. _Great, just great. She could basically hear the smirk in his voice, could basically see the twinkle in his hazel eyes. She also didn't know when she began to realise these things about Alec, but it unnerved her. Very much so._

"Ifagtoufalek," her garbled version of 'I Hate You Alec' was muffled by the expanse of wooden floor pressed up against her face. She just lay there, tired out with all the brooming and brushing and dusting she'd just done, having only to go back to square one when the next dust cloud emerged.

"Uh, Maxie? Do you think you could possibly move your head so we can hear?" Alec turned, and said something to the person standing behind him. The word 'we' in his sentence made Max raised her head in curiosity. She watched as Alec beckoned to the person behind him to come forward.

"Alec, what the hell.."

"Max, meet our new roommate, Katie," and Max found herself staring at a tall, willowy blonde with big doe brown eyes.

"X5-467. Nice to meet you," Katie made her way over to where Max lay on the ground, stunned. She offered her flawlessly, perfectly manicured (or at least it seemed) hand to Max's grubby, dirt covered one and hauled her up. "Just made it here from California."

"Oh. Hi. Alec, can I talk to you for a second?" Max tried not to grit her teeth too obviously, and trained her steely gaze at Alec. She stormed, with as much dignity as possible, out of the room, grabbing Alec angrily by the jacket as she did so.

"Oh sure, Maxie. I'd love to have a little heart-to-heart with you. Wonder why we haven't done this before-" Alec began, but was cut off when Max's pointy, albeit dirty, finger stabbed him in the chest. "Whoa, Max, easy on the shirt! I only have so many you know -"

"What the hell do you think you're doing? I don't remembering okaying another roommate! Haven't you ever heard of 'talking it over'? I can't believe you did this!" Max hissed, trying in vain to keep her voice down. Unfortunately for Alec, all Max could see was red. All she could think about was how much of an idiot he really was. Such an idiot. Such an asshole. Such a handsome idiot. Such a handsome, lovable idiot. Such a  -  "Oh My God!"

Alec, who had been standing silent throughout her verbal onslaught, was confused.

"Oh My God what?" He waved a hand in front of her face, becoming slightly worried at her glazed look. "Uh, Max?"

_I can't believe I just... Ugh. Am I attracted to him? Don't even go there Max. She blocked that avenue of thought. Suddenly she became aware of his hand moving up and down in front of eyes._

"What?" she snapped irritably, eyebrows drawn down and hands clenched into fists. "So explain. What in god's name possessed you to drag the flavour of the day into _our apartment?!"_

Alec was in deep. He knew it. But god did he enjoy watching her get worked up. She always seemed to glow when she became angry, her body tensed, dark eyes giving off sparks. Like a spitfire. But so blind. So utterly blind. 

Blind to the fact that Alec harboured feelings for her. Probably always had. He'd even dropped her a hint once, when they were rescuing the mermaid in the Blowfish Tavern. _I always go for the ones I can't have. She didn't pick up on it, of course._

Instead, she chose to chase after the one that _she couldn't have. Logan, exo-skeleton boy. Whenever something went wrong, she'd turn to Logan, as if he could miraculously fix everything. Inwardly Alec laughed. Poor guy couldn't even walk by himself. _

Well, if she didn't want to know about Alec, she wouldn't have to. 

No, he'd just tell her the truth. About Katie, that is. Heaven forbid should he ever mention his feelings to her. _Feelings, he snorted. As if Max thought he had any._

"She just came in, didn't have a place to stay. We're out of room in TC you realise. Need to probably start building someday soon. I bumped into her at HQ a few hours ago, she told me she needed a place to stay so bam," Alec shrugged his shoulders. "I did what any other decent guy would've done."

"What, did you offer her your bed too? I don't give a damn who you sleep with Alec, but at least try to be a bit more subtle," truth be told, Max was unconsciously a little jealous. Jealous of those perfect nails, the flawless pale complexion, the golden, waterfall-like hair. Katie lent a whole new meaning to the word 'perfect'. Manticore liked 'em pretty, that much was clear.

"No, actually I thought she was a nice girl. Really sweet," now it was Alec's turn to become angry. His face hardened and he clenched his jaw dangerously. A guy can only take so much crap from Max, after all. "I'm not always the bad guy, Max. I've told you before." Enough. Time to leave before he did something he regretted. The past week had taken an emotional and physical strain on the pair, making relations between them strained and uneasy at times. There had been so much to do, so little time to do it in. To put it simply, stress was making everyone in TC edgy.

He turned and marched down the stairs, his clutched fists the only evidence that betrayed his relaxed form. Max sighed, shoulders slumped in defeat. Somehow they always managed to bring out the worst in one another these days. _Some friendship, _she laughed wryly. As if you could even call it that. She turned and walked back into the big apartment.

"Uh, Max, was it?" Katie's melodic voice called her. "Where do you want this stuff to go?"

Max looked around the room, stunned. In the small amount of time she had been having a 'conversation' with Alec, Katie had managed to shift all the furniture and boxes to the walls, find a broom and sweep up most of the mess on the floor, open all the windows and was now sitting cross-legged on the floor unpacking the boxes.

Max felt a surge of irritation. _Yeah, cause she managed to do all this in less than a quarter of the time it took you to move half these boxes._ It seemed being a transgenic didn't always mean housecleaning came with the full package. She pushed away the hostile tendencies, and approached the other X5.

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	2. Perfection

**Story Title : **What You Can't Have

**Chapter Title : **Perfection 

**Disclaimer : **All DA characters, references etc belong to Cameron/Eglee and Fox. Katie belongs to me.

**Summary : **Max re-analyses her feelings for Alec after a new female becomes interested in him.

**A/N : **Thanks definitely (And I stress that word) go to my wonderful (stress that one too) beta reader, Whisper.Kudos to you, girl! Thanks also to my lovely reviewers, a reply for each of you can be found at the end of this chapter. On with the show, I say!

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**_(Half an Hour Later, Inside the Apartment)_**

"So… are you and Alec, you know, together?" Katie's question startled Max, almost causing her to drop the table they were moving.

"No!  I mean, Alec and me?  We'd kill each other in a few hours!" Max wanted to stop there, but curiosity took over.  Curiosity also killed the cat.  "Why do you say that?"

"Well**,** I figured since you were sharing an apartment... I guess I just assumed," Katie smiled prettily, dimples and all.  "I didn't want to get on your territory or anything, but since he's free…" ****

With a sinking feeling in her stomach, she reali**z**ed that Alec wasn't after Katie. Nope, in fact, it was the other way around.  Looking at the other X5's 1000-watt smile, Max found she couldn't even muster up a cent of dislike for 'Miss Perfection'. Maybe it lay in Katie's uncharacteristic enthusiasm for everything she did.  It helped with the housework, for sure.  One simply couldn't find a reason to hate her.

_I don't even know **why** I should dislike her, _Max thought.__

Studying Katie out of the corner of her eye, Max took in the other transgenic's appearance.  She tried in vain to spot a flaw, a pimple, a birthmark; _anything_ that would disprove her theory that X5-467 was, in actual fact, perfect.

Max couldn't find a single blemish.  467 was the epitome of perfection.

Max was not happy.

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**_('The Test Tube', TC, present)_**

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Alec blinked, giving his genetically enhanced vision a chance to become accustomed to the dim lighting at 'The Test Tube'.  Some nomalie had the bright idea of fixing up this abandoned underground warehouse as TC's first bar.  Alcohol included, though Alec had no idea where the alcohol came from.  He made a mental note to ask the manager about it. 

Making his way towards the bar, he nodded in acknowledgement to the various X series, nomalies and, in general, transgenics who crossed his path.  Semi-restored furniture and rotting wooden walls combined to give 'The Test Tube' a rough and ready kind of atmosphere.  Rumour had it that this place actually used to be a nightclub, but of course was abandoned after the Pulse.  Then some alcohol-deprived transgenics decided to restore it and voila**!**  Viva la Test Tube.

If Max had known about it, she would have hit the roof, created a skylight, and headed towards what was left of the ozone layer at twice the speed of light.  With steam coming out of her ears, of course.

Luckily she remained blissfully unaware, trying to consummate a relationship, which, physically, consisted of two plastic gloves and a bucket of bleach.  Alec snorted, the 'hand-holding ceremony' just a week ago rising unbidden to his mind.  What was the stupid girl thinking?  Max, Miss Woe-Is-Me-24/7, was the one who thought that pushing Logan away would protect him.  Max, Miss Alec-is-the-Bane-of-my-Existence, enlisted _his_ help in pushing said person away.  Max, Miss Hypocritical Bitch herself, was the one who wrecked all her 'hard work' with a simple joining of hands.

Alec felt a surge of an unfamiliar emotion.  Something he couldn't remember experiencing before.  It made him want to storm out of the bar, find Logan, and try out his new list of '101 Things to do to a Man who you _Really_ Dislike at this Point in Time'.  Interesting.

And you know what the worst part of this was?

Alec didn't have a bloody clue as to why he was feeling this way.  He motioned to the barkeep for his usual drink.

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_(**Max, Alec, and Katie's apartment, Present)**_****

"Katie, I'm heading down to HQ**.**" Max called out to Katie.  "Are you comin' with me or staying here?"

"Hold on a second…" the banging of cupboard doors and scraping of plates and dishes drifted down from the kitchen to the living room where Max was waiting.  A few seconds later, Katie elegantly popped her head round the doorway. __

_How the fucking hell is she so graceful?_  In the two hours the two female transgenics had spent 'bonding', Max had learned that it would be wise if she could keep her mouth shut when thinking these thoughts. 

"I found some things in the kitchen I could probably whip up a meal out of, so I might pass on going down to HQ," Katie bit her lip apologetically.  "But since it's my first night, I thought we'd be able to have dinner together. The three of us."

"Oh," Max was… well, speechless.  Speechless while the 'little Max' in her head was screaming, _Oh fuck.  She can cook too._  _Another reason for Alec to want to keep her around._

It wasn't that Max disliked Katie.  In fact, if it wasn't for the new X5's 'perfectness', they probably could have been great friends.

"Yeah, that's fine, Katie," she smiled, a horribly fake smile.  "What time do you want me here by?"

"How does six-thirty sound?" An elegant twirl of the blonde hair.

"Great. See you then," Max turned, yanked open the door and made to close it.

"Oh, and Max?" Classy pursing of the lips.

"Yeah?" Max poked her head through the doorway.

"If you see Alec, tell him to be here at six-thirty."

_Sure.  Whatever.  He'll probably be back here to check up on you before then anyway.  _Her irritation began to mount, and Max knew it was time to leave.

"Yup, can do.  Gotta blaze.  See ya." Almost racing down the stairs, the warm sunlight that cascaded down on her outside calmed her.  Making her away doggedly to Terminal City HQ, she replayed the morning's events again. 

And again.

 And again, searching for the meaning behind the silent resentment she felt for the new girl.  For that's all she was, a new girl.  Too new to be a real threat to her relationship with Alec.

"Oh my god," Max whispered, realizing she had 'done it again'.  She'd been thinking of Alec in a more-than-friends context.  _Two times in a day, Max.  Not a good sign. _ There was nothing between her and the constant annoyance, aptly named Alec.  _There's nothing there.  Nothing between Alec and I._

"There's nothing there," she began to repeat her mantra, weaving through people littered around the interior of HQ.  "Nothing there, Max."

"Hey, Max," Dix looked up from his computer in greeting as she passed, seemingly blind to her surroundings.  She seemed to be talking to herself. _Now is not a good time to be losing it Max, _he thought_._ "Max?"

"What!" Mantra-Chanting interrupted midway, the 'leader' of TC whirled around irritated.  "I'm busy, Dix." She turned back around and stormed the rest of the way to her office, where she promptly slammed the door and sulked in her big, comfortable leather chair.

The poor dear.

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**_(TC Headquarters, Ten minutes later)_**

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_There's **nothing** there.  Nothing between Alec and I.  Nothing I want to happen between said asshole and myself._

_Yeah, right Max.  Keep telling yourself that.  Maybe if you say it enough, it might decide to manifest itself and kick your ass and make you realize._

_Whoosh…Slam. _"I don't like Alec."

_Whoosh…Slam. _"I honestly don't like Alec."

_Whoosh…Slam._ "Really, I don't like him. Never have."

Punctuating each phrase with the opening and closing of a desk drawer as she searched for some papers, Max knew she was lying to herself. If she honestly didn't like him, there would have been better ways to ensure he never bothered her again. Always responding to his taunts and jabs made him want to hang around. No, if she really didn't like him, she would have ignored him. 

_And he'd be gone by now. _

_That_ thought scared Max far more than anything else she'd ever encountered. Though she'd never say it aloud, she depended on Alec, more so in the past week. The thought of him gone, especially when she was just starting to realise her feelings…

_Whoosh…Slam. _"Where is that god_damn_ file?"

A knock disturbed her.  Meekly, Dix opened the door and peeked through. 

"Uh, Max, you should come see this."

"Not now, Dix," Max had a whole afternoon of sulking to do.  Well, until six-thirty, that is.  When she'd be due back at the apartment, ready to watch Katie make googly eyes and giggle girlishly at Alec over dinner. Fun. 

"I really think you should see this."

"I said, _I'm busy._"

"It's to do with Logan." Almost reflexively, Max leapt up and rushed out of her office, looking for any sign of trouble that involved her 'not-like-that' partner.  She found it all right; directly outside HQ.

"Oh. My. God." The third time she had said that today.

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**Thanks to my reviewers:**

**Mystik87: **Thanks for your encouragement, and comment that this could be a hit! Do ya really think so? *sal's lil ego grows a bit*

**BHG: **Thank you for your review, and yes, it's my first DA fanfic :o). And there's certainly more fics in the pipeline. 

**Sam: **Thanks for reviewing, and I'm glad you decided to write a short note to say hi even if you think you don't know how to review properly. Who cares, right?

**lakergirl: **I completely agree with you that Max can be so blind. You're probably right when you say that she was fated to be recaptured and meet Alec. It's better than the 'non-existential fairytale' of a relationship Max has with Logan.

**panda007: **I'm glad you liked this, and thanks for your review. Makes lil ego here *sal pats lil ego* very happy.

**fuko: **Thanks for your review, and sorry I didn't update sooner. *please don't hit me*  .

**Whisper: **Hey, girl! All thanks to you that this chapter doesn't suck. Thanks so much for your help! I can only wish that my stories ever become as successful and as good as yours!

**pinay: **Katie's personality will be developed throughout the entire fic, a lil more is added in this segment of the story. Thanks for reviewing, and enjoy this chapter!


	3. Strained Relations

**Story Title : **What You Can't Have

**Chapter Title : **StrainedRelations

**Disclaimer : **All DA characters, references etc belong to Cameron/Eglee and Fox. Katie belongs to me.

**Summary : **Max re-analyses her feelings for Alec after a new female becomes interested in him. M/A Post FN.

**A/N : **A shower of hugs and kisses go to my w-o-n-d-e-r-f-u-l beta, Whisper. More x's and o's go to my a-w-e-s-o-m-e reviewers, a reply to each of you at the end of this chapter. On with the show!**__**

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**_(Outside TC HQ, Present)_**

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Max looked upon the growing number of raucous transgenics outside with horror. Knowing that there was only one person who could get them so worked up was in the middle of it all, she made a mad dash through the cheering melee. 

_What the hell has Logan gotten himself into now? _She wondered as she raced through the crowd of people_._

"Move, people, move!" She soon neared the center, where two people seemed to be having a stand-off. Mole was looming dangerously over Logan, his cigar flicking dangerously. Logan, on the other hand, was clad only in his pre-pulse Tweenies boxers and a dirty singlet. His exo-skeleton was clearly visible, and made Max want to flinch away in revulsion.

"Max, thank God you're here!" Logan made to grab her, but withdrew at the last second, remembering the virus. "I don't know what's happening. They just turned on me and dragged me-" he whimpered, desperately trying to earn Max's sympathy.

"He's a filthy, lying ordinary!" Mole's loud voice rang out. "Thinks he's better than us, giving us order-"

"Enough!" Max yelled angrily, cutting him off. She then stomped her foot just for effect, glaring at the crowd. "I don't care what happened or _why_ it happened! Go back to work." With much reluctance the crowd slowly dissipated, leaving only herself and the two antagonists.

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**_(Max, Alec and Katie's Apartment, 6:00pm)_**

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Katie sighed luxuriously as she slid into the hot water of the small bathtub.  She really was lucky, being able to find accommodation so easily. She owed it all to that gorgeous X5, Alec, of course.

_The word gorgeous doesn't do him justice,_ she mused and smiled to herself, picturing his perfect countenance. 

He was so sweet when she ran into him at HQ. She'd been desperate for a room to stay in for the night, since she had only arrived in TC. And straight out of nowhere came her knight in shining armour, offering her a permanent residence. A permanent residence with _him._ No right-minded female would turn him down. 

_Maybe except Max._ But that was a topic of thought for tomorrow's bath. With much reluctance, she rose and looked for a towel.

_My fault for not getting one before, I guess._

She picked up a small white piece of material that looked like _half_ a towel, and wrapped it around herself as best she could. Opening the bathroom door, she glanced at the clock on the opposite wall. Six-fifteen. Almost time for dinner.

Sauntering across the room, her thoughts remained on Alec.

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**_(Terminal City HQ, 6:00pm)_**

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"Logan, I can't believe you did that." Came the cold statement from Max, who was sitting at her desk, staring at her current object of displeasure. After talking to Mole, well, more like lecturing him, she had found out that Logan had been unnecessarily rude in asking for assistance. 

He, in Mole's words, "was yellin' at us when we told him we had better things to do than _serve_ him". Max honestly didn't want to believe that Logan could be capable of such insolence, but also knew that it could be her one chance to make sure he was safe, outside of TC. 

"All I did was ask them to get me some T4 cables, Max!" Logan whined. "Then Mole was abusi-"

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She waved a hand. "I told you before. If anything went wrong in the month I gave you, you were outta here."

"But Maaax!" When he had gotten so whiny and childish, she had no idea. But it was starting to piss her off.

"I don't have time for this, Logan," Looking up at her wall-clock she realised it was 6:15. _Crap. Dinner with Katie and Alec. _Truth be told, she wasn't looking forward to it. But since Max had agreed to be there, being late wouldn't score her any points with Katie. _Not that I care what she thinks of me. Cause I don't._

"You're leaving tomorrow night, with Sketchy and OC. No questions." She rose and left hurriedly, leaving a bewildered Logan Cale to wonder how he could fit all his technological gadgets into a suitcase. This would require assistance, assistance that most transgenics wouldn't be willing to give.

_What's going on with you, Max?_ Logan questioned. _There used to be a time where you would do anything for me. What's changed? Something to do with Alec, maybe?_

Logan vowed to find out.

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**_(The Test Tube, 6:00pm)_**

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 A sudden flood of transgenics into the bar had Alec startled.  _Must be happy hour or something, _he thought broodingly, as he watched the influx of bodies mingle with one another_._ He recognised the last person through, a rabbit nomalie named Thumper.   Throwing a questioning look in Thumper's direction, Alec picked his way through the over-filled bar.

"Hey, what's with the home crowd?" he knocked fists with Thumper.

"Alec, my man, you haven't heard?" the nomalie lisped, smiling comically. "The Ordinary was finally taught a lesson in transgenic manners."

_What's he talking about?_ Alec was confused. _Ordinary… that would be either Logan, OC or Sketch_, he debated_._ But then he realised the only person idiotic enough to piss off a transgenic would be have to be Logan. _Yep, has to be exo-boy, _he concluded_._

"Really? Well I would get you to tell me more, but I gotta go. Been down here too long. I'll see you later." Planning to head on back to his apartment, Alec pushed open the doors of the Test Tube. Fully expecting to be blinded by the sunlight, he was momentarily surprised that it was already dark. He checked his watch.

_Six-fifteen. Damn. Well that was a waste of a few hours._

He reached the apartment block, and then climbed the inside stairs with ease. Knowing that he should probably care about what was happening with Logan made him feel a tinge of guilt. But not much. Hell, the only reason he should be caring was because of Max, since she obviously thought so much of Logan.

_To hell with them._ Alec unlocked the apartment door and was greeted by the sight of Katie, clad in nothing but a small white towel. He stood frozen in the doorway.  

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**X's and O's (kisses and hugs) to all my reviewers (I get the feeling the thank-you notes are longer than the actual chapter):**

**Sam: **I had a lil mind-blank on what stupid thing Logan could have done, so I used the most obvious (well, duh, I think that if Mole hadn't killed him eventually the whole of TC would have made plans). But there's more to it than him just ordering the transgenics about though. More info in later chapters.

**constar494: **Thank you for your compliments! It's always great to get feedback from readers (especially good feedback *hint hint*), and I'm grateful you took the time to click that lil blue button down the bottom. *sal's lil ego puffs a bit* I'll try to keep up the 'good work'. :o).

**Deb/BHG: **I don't think _anyone_ can compete with perfection, but then again no one in this world is actually perfect, right? Thanks for your review!

**fuko: **Yes, dear, I updated *grins*. So proud of myself heh. Hope this chapter answers your question (somewhat) about what Log-boy did. Enjoy.

**Kriki: **Thank you! I try to write as best as I can, but credit is also due to my beta, Whisper. No fanfic author is a _real_ author without their beta. And I like the layout too :o). *lil ego does the Macarena … oh wait, is that 'uncool' now?  Doing the Ketchup Dance then*

**gemma: **Howdy ho to you too :o). Thanks so much for your encouraging comments, you have no idea how much more motivation it gives me to write (not to mention how bloated lil ego can become). I'm honoured that this might be one of the best DA fanfics you've read in a while. I'll try to keep the standard. Thanks for reviewing.

**lakergirl: **Trust me, Katie is definitely going to be _tough_ competition for Max. In Deb's words, who can compete with perfection, right? I'm planning on making it hard and sufferable for Max (since on the actual show she was such a bitch 24/7 to Alec). Don't get me wrong, I don't hate her. :o). I just think she deserves to suffer. Thanks for reviewing!

**Whisper: **Thanks for getting me over that whole 'low self-esteem' thing I had going on. :o). And don't argue with me, your stories are so successful it's just not funny. The dinner chapter should be arriving in your mailbox asap. Well … gimme a few weeks, kay? I start school tomorrow. :o(.

**Dominique: **I'm not the best at writing action/fighting scenes, but I'll see what I can do. Maybe Max and Katie will, literally, fight over Alec. Hmmm… *lil ego wanders off and adds new plot thread to current storyline*

**Down-Ass-Bitch: **Don't hate me . ! I updated as soon as I could :o) And now you know a lil about the 'stupid thing that Logan did'. Thanks for reviewing.

**jg: **I try to be cruel when I can. Heh. J/K. Updated, Chapter 3 of WYCH, just for you lol. Thanks for reviewing.

**Baloo:** Oops, I'll brb, going to give you a reply in a sec after I watch Days of Our Lives (Jensen lovin', here I come!). Back. That was one mighty good ep! Anyway, thank you for reviewing and I hope you like today's cliffhanger ;o).

**RagingConfusion: **Thanks for reviewing, and I thought it was a good cliffie in the last chapt too.

**Mystik87: **I updated :o). Thanks for reviewing both chapters, I'm glad you're following the story.

**choca: **Thanks for your enthusiasm! This is my first DA fanfic, not my very first story ever. :o). Check out my profile if you like my writing.

**starlight: **No, I'm not a god :o). But I'd love to be one. Any offers? Thanks for reviewing, and hope you enjoyed this chapter.

**pinay:** You asked for a Katie POV, I delivered… well, kinda. Tell me what you think :o). Thanks for reviewing Chapter 2.


	4. Food for Thought

**Story Title : **What You Can't Have

**Chapter Title : **Food for Thought

**Disclaimer : **All DA characters, references etc belong to Cameron/Eglee and Fox. Katie belongs to me.

**Summary : **Max re-analyses her feelings for Alec after a new female transgenic arrives in TC. M/A Post FN.

**A/N : **Thanks to all my ffnet reviewers, kisses and hugs for you all :o). I also wanted to let you know that this fiction is updated up to a week earlier at NWP (), but will also continue to be posted here. *hint hint* This is most obviously a NWP plug. Go register there, it's wonderful, all the nuns rock!**__**

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**_(Max, Alec's and Katie's Apartment, 6:15pm)_**

It took Alec exactly 2.3 seconds to react to the current situation.  In those 2.3 seconds, one thought repeatedly flashed in his head, not unlike one of those annoyingly glary neon green signs.

_He whistled.  Wow.  What a body._

And what a body it was, even if Alec was the only one there to appreciate it.  Katie's long, slim legs were bare since the 'towel' hardly covered her _very nice_, Alec thought, small bottom.  His eyes skimmed hungrily up her body, resting on a nice upper region before his gaze caught hers.  He cleared his throat gruffly, breaking the stiff silence.

"Uh. Well. This is interesting."  No answer from the female X5, who had the decency to flush, albeit prettily.  Katie was obviously quite unaware of the effect she had on him.  "I'm just going to go outside for a while, maybe you should, uh, get changed."

All that alcohol he'd consumed earlier must've had an effect on his blurring ability.  Alec could've sworn he broke the speed barrier, the way he hurtled out of the building.

Alec knew that it would have been so easy just to walk across the room to Katie. Realistically, though, it was apparent to him that the consequences of such an action would leave both parties in pain, having to live together and pretend that nothing had happened. Tthat would have been the scenario, it would have been a mistake, two people giving into a very big temptation. He couldn't, and wouldn't, do that to Katie.

Besides, being with Katie would have meant him betraying his own heart. But being primarily male, he didn't know that.

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**_(Max, Alec and Katie's Apartment, 7:00pm)_**

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Max was uncomfortably bored. While rushing back to the apartment earlier, she had steeled herself for what she assumed to be an 'Alec Worshipping' kind of dinner. Oh yes, she'd been prepared to ignore the flirtatious glances and coy comments that she was sure would be the standard from Katie.

How wrong she was.

Apparently Max Guevara had been a bad judge of character. For right at that moment, she couldn't detect the slightest suggestion of interest on Katie's part. There was definite tension in the air between the other two transgenics, but not of the sexual kind.

Max chewed her lip, looking directly across the table at 'Miss Perfection' (as she had dubbed Katie). Miss P, we shall call her, had spent the past half an hour staring down at her plate, glancing up only occasionally to her right, where Mr P, also known as Alec, played uncomfortably with his eating utensils. 

_Miss P, Mr P, what the hell is happening to me? My god, did I just _**_rhyme__?_ Indeed, Max was so bored she had resorted to making up horribly bad poetry in her head. What had the world come to?**

"That was great, Katie. Didn't know you could cook so well," Max resolved to break the silence. "Where'd you learn to make food like that?"

Katie looked up, startled. She blushed in delight. Max cringed. _Now, if only _**_I __could blush like that without looking like one of these tomatoes. _She played with the red fruit on her plate.**

_Mr P and Miss P, sittin' in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G. _

"I'm not sure. I just love to cook, it comes to me naturally I suppose," Katie answered. Max was intensely grateful for the interruption to her runaway thoughts.

"Well, it was great," _Max, you idiot, you already said that,_ she chastised herself. She was tired, and for once felt like an early night was needed. She also had the sneaking suspicion that the bad smell in the air was in fact emanating from her. _S'what you get for not taking a shower in days.  _But then again, it wasn't her fault that power and water had only been restored a day ago.

"Yeah, it was delicious," Alec said, breaking his half an hour silence. He smiled heartbreakingly at Katie, who blushed yet again. 

"Thank** you."**

_Ugh. Time to go._ Max felt that 'Alec Worshipping' time was approaching fast, and wanted to get out of there before it began.

"Well, I'm really tired. Gonna get some shut eye. That was a great dinner, thanks Katie." Mentally hitting herself in the forehead again for repeating herself, Max pushed back her chair and cleared away her plates. She was reluctant to leave Katie alone with Alec, for whatever reason she had no idea.

_Mr P and Miss P, sittin' in a – _

"G'night!" Max said a little more loudly than needed. The other two X5's looked up at her from where they were still sitting, lost in thought. _At least that annoying rhyme's stopped._

She closed the bathroom door behind her, only to be greeted by her thoughts yet again.

_Mr P and Miss P …_

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The silence was brutal. Alec flinched each time Katie's fork 'clinked' against her plate.

"So."

Katie looked up, startled.

"So." She replied, raising an eyebrow quizzically. Katie glanced down at her plate again. "About before…"

"Yeah." Alec had a one-word-at-a-time vocabulary tonight, it seemed. Well, if Max could be a terrible poet, Alec should be entitled to be lost for words.

"It's never happened to me before, I don't want you to think that I'm a… a…" She searched for the right word.

"Tart?" 

She blushed, her long eyelashes fluttering unconsciously.

"Yes. Something like that. I mean - "

"It's okay. Let's just forget about it." Alec felt the need to change the subject. They both sat in complete silence for a few moments.

"So…"

"So…"

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**_(Max, Alec and Katie's Apartment, 6:30am next morning)_**

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"What're you doing up so early, Alec?" Max walked past Alec, ruffling his hair. He didn't say anything in reply, but she supposed since he had his head face down on the kitchen table, he must've been tired. She tugged open the fridge, grabbed a carton of juice and headed back to join him. "Alec?"

"Mmf."

"Huh? Speak up."  Last night's shower had done wonders for her mood.

"Mmmmf!"

Max, irritated by his lack of comprehensibility, proceeded to smack him upside the head.

"Ow, Max! Could you save the Alec-bashing til after nine? Let a man get some sleep, will ya," Max's object of detestation raised his head and looked at her with bleary hazel eyes. Alec's head hit the table top with a thump. "Need sleep." 

"Oh I'm sorry," Max dripped sarcasm all over the place. "I wasn't aware that you prefer the kitchen table to your bed."

"Hmmph."

_Why he's up so early is beyond me,_ Max thought. Though she had a niggling feeling about it. Something to do with the new "Alec Worshipper" recruit, the endearingly articulate, ever so elegant, annoyingly perfect, Katie? Maybe he planned to impress her with the way he could wipe down a table with his face. _Yeah. That's such an Alec-y thing to do._

_It's not important anyway,_ Max thought, not wanting to dwell on the possibility that Alec might want more than friendship from Katie. She had better things to think about, such as what she was going to do on her day off. Being the unofficial 'leader' didn't come without it's privileges, one such privilege dictating that she should get a day of rest each week. Then again, Mole probably thought she would bust a vein if she worked 24/7. The same went for Alec, who also had a day off today.

Drinking down the juice, she decided that she would just go check up on TC HQ, in case they needed her for anything. If they didn't, she'd have the majority of the day to herself, until it was time to see OC, Sketchy and Logan out of TC safely that evening. _Might go visit my girl before tonight, _Max planned to have a real 'girly talk' with OC, not having a chance to do so in the past week. But what to do for the rest of the day?

Max had the sudden impulse to go to the Space Needle. Yes, so maybe it was an unrealistic wish, seeing as it was dangerous to go outside TC and all, but the itch to go up to a high place needed to be scratched. Maybe Alec would want to come. She hit him on the shoulder with the now empty juice carton.

"Alec…" _What if he says no? _Max instantly regretted the thought of asking the smart ass to come with her. 

"What?" He raised his head again, then rubbed at his eyes.

"You know how it's our day off and all…" Max was kicking herself. Or would be, if it was physically possible.

"What 'bout it?" Alec proceeded to yawn loudly, stretching out his arms above his head.

"I was wondering if you wanted to," Max paused, while she watched him pick up the juice carton and attempt to drink some, only to realise there was none left. "Uh, wanted to…"

Alec stood up, stretching out the rest of his muscles, and strode towards the kitchen. Max eyed him irately, annoyed that he was seemingly ignoring her. She stormed after him.

"Hey, _asshole_, when I talk, you listen, got it?" She stalked over to where his rear end was projecting from the open fridge and slapped him over the head, again.

"Owwww, Maxie! What'd I tell you about no hitting Alec 'til after 9?" He reached a hand up to inspect the little damage she'd done to his head.  "And you messed up my hair!"

"You little…" her eyes narrowed dangerously, but she calmed down somewhat when she saw the telltale twinkle in his hazel eyes. _I've never seen his eyes this close before._ They were standing with less than a ruler's length between them. Max wanted to turn away, protect herself from the effects he was having on her, but found she could not move. 

Instead, she found herself wondering _why_ she treated him so badly in the past, _and present, _she thought rather guiltily. He really hadn't done much to warrant her hostility. He'd been on her side the entire time, only she never knew it, because she hadn't trusted him. He did screw-up … but not often. 

If Max really thought about it, the only resentment she ever had against him stemmed from his preventing her from obtaining the long-revered cure. The one substance that could break down the invisible barrier between her and who she _thought_ was her soul-mate, her destiny. Logan Cale.

She'd been served a rude wake up call. Logan, when it came down to it, was just a lonely old man with a penchant for machines that would prevent him from actually using his brain. Not saying that he actually possessed one.

Back to the present, Alec looked down at Max curiously, who had her hands on her hips and head turned slightly to the side in thought. _What's with all the spacing out? _He wondered. He'd fully anticipated the angry reaction to his ignoring her, but Max being off with the fairies was not expected. An idea came to mind, and he grinned mischievously. Moving closer so that his body came in contact with hers, he brushed his lips against her ear. 

"Maaax…" he whispered sexily, waiting for the harsh blow to his head, which seemed to be her favourite body part to abuse today. Needless to say, he was stunned when he felt her lean into him and arch her neck back.

"Alec…" Max was living a dream, one where Alec loved her, and she loved him, and they mad wild passionate love in the kitchen. Her dream came crashing down around her when she realised that, in reality, yes they were in fact in the kitchen, but Alec didn't love her, and, she thought somewhat reluctantly, there was no wild passionate sex in the equation. As for her loving him, her feelings were so muddled up she wasn't sure what to make of them.

Max needed time to think, and knew where she had to go. The Space Needle. 

Her cheeks flaming, she backed away from Alec and essentially blurred to the door.         

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"Uh. Well. Bye." Alec mumbled, still dazed from the recent eye-opening event. 

_Maybe I have a chance with her._

_Did Max just respond to my advance?_

_Was that really Max?_

_Maybe I have a chance._

_What the hell is she on?_

_Maybe I have a chance._

A million thoughts whirled madly through his head, driving him to distraction. He needed some time to think, a quiet place where he could sit and contemplate the meaning of what happened just before.

"Hi Alec. You ready to go?" Ah. Problem numero uno. He'd promised to show Katie around today, the idea that resulted from their stilted conversation the night before. 

What a choice to make.

Go into isolation from the world for a few hours so that he could think, while risking straining his already on-the-rocks friendship with Katie.

Or happily show Katie around TC, while risking going crazy due to the loony bin of thoughts in his head.

Maybe he could kill two birds with one stone. Figuratively speaking, of course.

"Yeah, I'm in the kitchen." He looked at her when she glided in. "Listen, do you think maybe I could show you 'round TC tomorrow? There's something outside I want you to see."

_Liar, _his inner voice said_, you just want to go there and brood over Max._

"Oh, okay." Katie raised her thin eyebrows, her brown eyes registering surprise. "So where are we going then?"

Alec gnawed at his thumb while he spoke.

"It's called the Space Needle."

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**Post Valentine's Day roses to my reviewers:**

**Sam: **Sorry about the wait in between chapters, I hope this chapter's content makes up for that :o). And I too think that Logan is a lil dumb. 'Dumb' is just scratching the surface of his stupidity, though. Thanks for reviewing.

**choca: **Well … I wouldn't say Logan is leaving _just_ yet … I have plans for the man. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.

**Mooch: **Thank you for saying that you liked this story! It does wonders for my ego *lil ego grins happily, and swells*. If I write Max out of character, be sure to tell me :o).

**Mystik87: **You have no idea how deliriously happy I was to hear you say that you're going to stick with the story til the end. And I worked hard on that Katie-and-the-towel situation, so I'm glad you liked. Thanks so much for your support, it means so much to me :o).

**Caderyn: **I too support the 'M/A lovin', and I took your advice and changed the category to Romance/Humor. Thanks so much for your encouragement, and I hope this chapter satisfied your M/A cravings somewhat :o).

**Dominique: **Well, Dominique, I wouldn't say Logan is out of the picture _entirely_ … more on a pro-longed holiday, since I can't be bothered writing him in (he's just too hard to make interesting, y'know?). Thanks for your review.

**constar494: **Hey, girl, didn't you review me over at NWP? Never mind :o). And as for you not liking Katie, maybe by the sixth chapter you'll change your mind somewhat. Or maybe not. Who knows. *creepy music*

**RagingConfusion: **Like you said, Max kept her word, booting Logan out of TC, but will Logan keep his word, and leave? Find out soon … (What a plug, eh? Heh.)

**panda007: **Hiya, girl, you're another one of my NWP reviewers! Well, I spose you already know what happened in this chapter, seeing as it's already posted at NWP. Thanks for reviewing, your support is much appreciated :o).

**Pati: **Thanks for your compliments, they've sure corrupted my ego here *lil ego swells, much like a balloon*. I hope you liked this chapter, and thanks so much for reviewing the last.

**fuko: **As much as I liked your speculation, I'm sorry to say (as you probably already know) you were wrong. Max didn't burst in on the Katie-and-the-towel scene, but the next scene will be very interesting. I promise. Love ya for reviewing. :o).

**StarlitePrincess: **Hi! I'm assuming that you're the kick-ass author who posts over NWP, and I have to say, thanks so much for your comments! You have no idea how it feels to have another DA author (who is awesome in her own right) compliment your work. And I'll take the 'painful death for Logan' into consideration :o).

**pressandclick: **Logan annoys me too. Very much so. But I am considering a painful death for him (idea courtesy of starliteprincess). Thanks for reviewing.

**MerykeyX5 494: **All your speculation was giving me a headache :o). Maybe Alec will get with Katie, maybe he won't. Maybe Logan will die, maybe he won't. Maybe the sky will collapse and suffocate all the residents of TC, we won't know til the next chapter. But I did enjoy reading all your predictions though. Thanks for reviewing!

**pinay: **You've already reviewed me at NWP, so I can't really see you reading this chapter again :o). But if you happen to be reading this, then I want to say thank you for your support so far. Have a Cadbury Crème Egg. They're nice.


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